im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
