You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
