Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
