Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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