Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize