I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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