You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize