Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the day after is always just damage control
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
