wanna go halves on a baby?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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