my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
there is puke in my bra ... again
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