If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
