It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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