i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Randomize
