i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
