ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
