We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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