I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize