We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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