plz talk dirty to me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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