dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
