I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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