I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize