She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
