we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
