i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
