my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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