In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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