kristin has been a bad kristin
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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