dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
