Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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