her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
