My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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