Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
