I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
