Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
