I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
