dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
