is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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