I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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