so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize