i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
