Where is the hickey?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Randomize