Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
