ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
high people should be assigned attendants
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
