I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
