I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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