Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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