There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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