I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
