I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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