I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
