She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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