there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
