It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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