so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
