Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
