If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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