If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
