I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
