i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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