discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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