He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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