nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
