True but thats because hes a fetus.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
