You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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