I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
