i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
